Adventures in Unpacking.

What’s the worst way to start your trip to Europe? How about, “Your bag is 15 pounds too heavy.” (Factor in the exchange rate, and we’re talking like 35 fucking pounds!)

I began to have a feeling that my bag would be too heavy well before I set foot in the airport. Even with wheels, this bag was nearly impossible to move. My whole, “Pack as much shit as possible” strategy clearly sent me in the wrong direction. Trying to wheel this bag reminded me of the time(s) Gindy tried to drive his front-wheel drive SUV through the snowy streets of Ithaca. Shit wouldn’t budge! Miss ya Ithaca!

Anyways, after the airport guy told me my bag was too heavy, I dragged it over to the side of the check-in kiosks and began unpacking. Figuring out which clothes to leave behind was tricky. It’s like the scene in Home Alone when the McAllister’s have to decide which one of their children to leave home during Christmas Break.

In the end, I decided to part with some pairs of jeans, toothpaste, some shoes, and a couple dozen Friends Academy Athletics t-shirts. In Home Alone terms, these items became my Kevin. I can only hope my Theory pants are as savvy as Macaulay Culkin and find a way to meet in me in Paris. I’m just trying to dress to impress, y’all.

After check-in came some quality time at the Food Court with familial representation from both the Ratner and Rosen clans. During this break, my Dad told everyone that his biggest fear is “being on a plane without a snack.” (I’m writing this post from 20,000 feet, so I’ll hold off on cracking a joke about normal peoples’ plane fears.)

Adorable.

Once the parents left, Zach and I headed to the gate. We asked someone to take a picture of us in front of a monitor that said Amsterdam. The guy who took the photograph was really shaky (probably blazed out of his mind), so you can barely discern either one of our faces, let alone that it says Amsterdam in the background. This is why I did not bother bringing a camera.

At this point, I’m going to dedicate my attention to the in-flight entertainment: selling off all of Zach’s possessions while he’s sleeping. Hey, Europe is pricey and I need some spending money.